Married to Big Bird
by ScorplinginTraining
Summary: Walter is upset and distracted for some reason. Paige finally pries the truth out of him.


Married to Big Bird

 **AN: Here's my addition to the therapy fics about this Florence/Walter nonsense. I would love to see this happen on the show. I doubt it'll go this way, but it's a dream for me.**

 **The fee for my therapy services is one review! ;-D**

 **OXOXOXOXOXO**

"Walter?"

Paige was sitting across the dinner table from her obviously preoccupied boyfriend and stopped talking mid-sentence to call out his name. He was certainly quiet, but this wasn't what she had in mind when she requested a 'quiet dinner' at home.

"Hmmm?" Walter's eyes snapped back to her face. "You were saying Ralph hasn't gotten an email from your mom in the last couple of weeks…?"

"I did say that. Five minutes ago."

He looked instantly contrite. "I'm sorry. What were we talking about?"

She reached for one of his hands and peered at him with concern. " _We_ weren't talking. I was. Is your head still bothering you? Do you need to lie down for a while?"

Scooting her chair around closer to him, she lifted her other hand and stroked the side of his face, letting her fingers comb through the hair above his ear, careful not to touch the spot where Happy drilled.

Thinking about it made her feel sick. She refused to consider what might have happened if Happy and Toby hadn't been there. Walter was alive and he was here with her. Paige was beyond grateful for that. By far her best Christmas present ever.

"I'm fine," he answered, but averted his gaze. Looking guilty, he muttered, "At least physically."

"Wait. Are you… bored with me? You said you were afraid to see boredom on my face, but is that what I'm seeing here… on yours?"

Walter froze. After a few seconds, he shook his head and sputtered, "No-no. Not at all. No. That-that isn't it."

Paige sighed. "Then what? What's going on with you? You've been distracted a lot lately. Recently, you've even been zoning out during missions."

"It-it's nothing. A lot on my mind. Uh, Scorpion's finances for one. I'm fine. Really fine. So, uh, what were you telling me?" He babbled unconvincingly, staring at their clasped hands and refusing to look directly at her.

She felt a sharp stab of anxiety. "Now you're deflecting and trying to change the subject." Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly to calm herself, she urged, "Just tell me. We can't make this work if we aren't honest and open with each other, right?"

When he only gave her a pained look, she said firmly, "You know me by now. The more evasive you are, the more I'll press, remember?"

Then standing and holding out her hand for his, she added, "Come on. Neither one of us is eating anyway. Come sit with me on the couch and you can tell me what's going on with you. You know you can tell me anything and I'll try to understand. Please, Walter."

He hesitated for long enough she was afraid he was going to refuse. But then he placed his hand in hers and let her lead him to the sofa where they could sit next to each other.

Again he paused, until she prompted, "Walter? Come on. Spill it."

He laced their fingers together and shifted uncomfortably. "Um. It-it's mostly about that dream…uh, hallucination I had," he stated quietly.

"Are you talking about the one you had when you fell?"

Walter nodded.

"What about it?" She coaxed.

"I didn't tell you everything." He swallowed. Paige had to control the impulse to shake it out of him already.

" _Walter_ …" She started, unable to hide the impatience in her tone. At the same time he blurted, "I was married…"

Her eyebrows shot up, then her mouth fell open when he finished with a rushed, "…to-to, uh, Florence."

While he looked mortified, cringing and awaiting her reaction, her lips started to twitch. Then she just couldn't contain it another second and Paige started snickering. When Walter responded with a confused and almost insulted frown, she started laughing outright.

Looking peevish, he grumbled, "I fail to see the humor."

"I'm so-sorry," she replied, still chuckling, "You and… _Florence_? Really? Nope. I can't…"

Paige placed her hand over her mouth as if to hold the laughter in. She ran her other hand up and down Walter's back and pressed her cheek to his shoulder.

"Why is that so amusing?" He asked, genuinely perplexed.

"Oh, Walter. I was just trying to picture how that would go. Did you try to out rude each other? Who was more robotic? I can just hear those dinner conversations." Eyes sparkling with teasing fun, she imitated robot voices, "Was your day efficient? Did you complete your new poly-formulaic-alkaline-binding agent-nonsense-blah-blah-yadda substance?"

She reached over and squeezed his hand when he scowled and said mutinously, "There's no such thing."

Paige still wasn't finished pointing out how ridiculous the idea of his marriage to Flo would be, "Oh, and would you keep a calendar to remind you when to be 'intimate'? You and Florence being married would be a complete disaster. I can't imagine a more passionless union in the whole world. It would be like marrying yourself in a female body."

He blinked. His face cleared and took on a slightly relieved look. "I hadn't considered that. It seemed so logical. We share common traits and interests. We are very similar in a lot of ways."

"Walter, that's exactly why it would suck. You guys are alike in all the wrong ways. It might seem logical if a computer was pairing the two of you up or if you applied a marriage algorithm. But in reality it would be awful. Did you enjoy being married to her in your dream? Wait, are you attracted to her in that way?" For the first time, Paige sounded a little worried.

Walter quickly allayed her fears shaking his head and almost appearing disgusted. "It confused me horribly in the dream. I woke up alone at my desk and I noticed I was wearing a wedding ring. I honestly assumed I was married to you, if anyone. I couldn't believe it. Refused to believe it. I'm in _love_ with _you_."

"Then what's got you so bothered by this?" Paige asked, puzzled.

He winced. "My subconscious mind put me with her. And-and she was different. In-in the dream. Softer and more…human. I mean, Toby thought he was 'in love' with Amy. They were even engaged. Then they broke up and-and he eventually found Happy. I want _us_ to be _it_. But I have no experience with this. What if I'm wrong like Toby was wrong about Amy?"

Paige felt a sudden rush of affection for her boyfriend and touched her lips to his cheek before laying her head on his shoulder. He'd clearly been agonizing over these thoughts for days. "Walter, think about the person Toby was when he was with Amy. He was gambling, in trouble with the law. He even took money from her, remember? She didn't exactly inspire him to better himself, did she? But he gladly left all that behind to be with Happy. Now, consider this. Can you imagine you and Florence encouraging each other to be more human? Would she help you develop in those areas where you're lacking? I'm sorry, I don't see it. In spite of what Mark Collins said, being a lot alike isn't always positive in a relationship. Sometimes it's better to compliment one another instead. I think we've both grown in a positive direction since we've known each other and even more since we've been a couple. Don't you see?"

She actually felt the tension leave Walter. After a few minutes of thought, he smiled against her hair. "I do see. You're right. Of course you're right."

It was his turn to chuckle, but he quickly sobered.

Walter's next words made Paige's heart leap. "So, are you saying you'd agree to marry me at some point? Could you see yourself as my wife? Because that's a waking dream I've had for a while now."

Smiling as her eyes filled, she straightened to look him directly in the face. "Now _that_ I could totally see."


End file.
